Used to…

img_6606She used to love my smile,
She used to love my hair style,
She used to love my dresses,
She used to relieve in me, her stresses,
She used to gobble on my cooking,
She used to lean on me, pulling,
She used to kiss on my cheeks softly,
She used to guide me from darkness, calmly,
She used to be my sunshine,
She used to be only mine..

Oh darling, don’t you see?
You should set her free,
Those ‘used to’ were in the pasts,
Try to move on, till your life lasts..


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Broken Souls..

img_6524Here we are two broken souls,
Dug ourselves in deep holes,
Experiences in life, aplenty,
Memories that can last, till we are ninety,
Can two broken legs, support each other?
The answer will unlock, as we live further,
Once upon a time, we were, so young and naive,
Never had time to sit by and grieve,
As we sit by, and reminisce the past,
Ponder, cry, and count all that we have lost,
Couldn’t we have fought a lil bit more?
We had someone, whose worth, we were never sure,
“Karma is a bitch”, we swore,
Silently praying, for God to restore,
That beautiful life we once lived with vigour,
Two broken souls, here we are, my love,
Deep holes we have dug ourselves in, my love..

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img_6306A year ago this day,
Swayed by love, one could say,
He thought his life, complete, in a way,
Lil did he know, he had deeds to pay,
In a world so far away,
His life, lead, astray..
A year later, today,
Day after day, he did pray,
Bring back the life he had, if God may,
Under the moonlight archway,
In her beauty, he wished to sway,
Dance all night to her favorite ballet,
Live the life he wished, till their hairs went grey..

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Half Remembered Dream..

img_5802Nightmares of mine, they never stop,
Wake up from them I do, with a faint pop,
Happy was I, in a world that wasn’t mine,
Peaceful was I, till it lost its shine,
I see her laugh in my dreams, so peaceful,
The happiness at times, its so lethal,
Thought I was the one, for her,
A great fool I was, I do concur,
Someday, to forgive her, is what I wish for,
Lose not, my sanity, not anymore,
Queen of my world, she was, upon a time,
Oh my love, loving someone so much, is a crime..

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My take aways from the 2016 State elections,



    While 2014 elections were won solely on the brand and image of Modi, ever since that election, there has been a prevailing opinion that BJP is only unidimensional with Modi and Amit Shah. The elections of Bihar last year, only going to prove that point. But ever since that debacle, BJP has recruited excellent back ground strategists and micro-managed campaign so much and this set of elections only goes on to prove that BJP is not solely dependent on Modi.


    It’s one thing to project Rahul Gandhi and suffer massive failure in National Elections, but its other thing to keep on projecting a person who seems disinterested, has no clue of what is happening and doesn’t care how the party is going. These are dark days for Congress, losing their bastion of Assam and Kerala, and the quicker they come out of the “shadows of Gandhi family” the better, the chances are for the party to arrest this slump.


    We started seeing this trend with repeated debacles of Rahul Gandhi, now we are seeing in Assam with Tarun Gogoi trying to project his son Gaurav Gogoi and TN, Karunanidhi trying to project his son, M.K. Stalin. The people of this country have got so much awareness that, one doesn’t get to have the right to hold office just by blood relationship. Akhilesh Yadav in my opinion will be the last of the dynasty politics, with him also facing tremendous anti-incumbency waves in upcoming UP elections, because of non performance. I really hope this is an encouraging trend that public start meriting, performance more than surname.


    LDF and Amma knew their audience perfectly, and exploited them to the maximum. LDF knew that the people in Kerala are knowledgeable and hence made corruption of Congress party as their focal campaign point, where as Amma knew that, the people actually turning to vote in TN are not the intellectual arm chair critics, but the illiterate day wage workers and wooed them perfectly with freebies and promise of abolishment of liquor, to attract votes of women. All sane people know that, liquor abolishment will never occur in TN in near future, with TASMAC being the major source of income for exchequer. And Amma lives to fight for another day.


    It’s one thing to be a darling to media and Meme makers and another to win an election. Vijayakanth learnt it the hard way with the total decimation of his party in the polls, while DMK for the first time failed to remove the incumbent Govt in 30 years. With feuding sons Alagiri and Stalin and ailing Karunanidhi, there are tough times ahead for DMK with possible splitting of party in near horizon. Losing Marans, was a big blow post 2G spectrum scam and now possible wide split of party will, see ADMK hold power for considerable time in near future.


    With incumbent victories of Mamta and Amma despite massive anti-incumbent wave in both states, in the view of general public, “Alpha females” or “Quasi-dictatorship” modeled parties are seen as safe bets in general public as there is less avenues for corruption compared to a party with multiple leaders

BIG WINNERS: BJP(winning Assam and increasing vote shares in Kerala, WB and Tamil Nadu.



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My Experiments with Loneliness..

It’s been so long since I wrote something.. Writing is something I love to do, but because of my work, my life, I had not been writing as much as I liked to have. Hope to write more frequently from now on..

Sometimes the person who tries to keep everyone happy, is the loneliest person..


Being a single child always sucked. There are three different variants of being a single child.

Variant 1: Being a single child living in your home town. You have only your parents for company, no one to share stuffs with, tell your experiences. The nearest person whom you could share your experiences even if you wanted to was at least 25 years older than you and belonged to another generation.

Variant 2: Being a single child in a nuclear family, staying away from your relatives, cousins, that sucked even more. Every once a year, you get to go to your native place, where if you had luck you could meet your cousins even then, the awkwardness of the meet is so much that you rarely get to share anything, you just look at them, smile awkwardly, share niceties and feel like an alien amongst the people who are supposed to be genetically the closest to you.

Variant 3: I belong to the third variant. Being a single child in a nuclear family, who are forced to keep changing their place of residence every few years, because of transferrable job (Bank manager et al). Let me tell you, living that life, sucked donkey balls (sorry for using a colloquial variant but I’ve heard its a term used to express the worst of sucking) No real friends, as they constantly keep changing, no local friends, no favorite hang out spot, etc etc, you get the idea, right? Plus every few years you go to a new place you need to call it your home, you get a lot of stares in school, the existing students look at you like ‘the guy who has come to disrupt the fragile ecosystem of the current school’

Over a period of time you start developing many characteristics to overcome my shortcomings. I hope to list here few of my so called “adaptive mechanisms”

  1. ALWAYS TRY TO BE FUNNY: Its already bad enough you are lonely, sad creature. Never show that to the external world. Always try to make jokes, however awkward it might be, however stupid they might seem, in my experience being funny is the easiest way to befriend someone. They might think you are a guy with poor taste of humor but you will have the initial impression that you are a harmless creature.
  2. ALWAYS TRY TO CREATE AN IMPRESSION THAT YOU ARE LIVING THE MOST “EXCITING AND ADVENTUROUS LIFE”: You know deep down, your life sucks, but never let the opposite person know that. Always start telling about your life history as if you lived in the dense Amazon forests for a year surviving with nothing but grass and roots, befriended a black panther, then lived 2 years of awesome life in Antartica, where you regularly go swimming with the penguins. No one is ever going to cross verify what you say, and the few moments of jealousy the listener develops when he hears your stories is all you live for.
  3. NEVER SHOW YOUR DESPERATION FOR FRIENDSHIP: In all my life the one painful lesson I have learnt, the moment you start showing you are desperate for someone, they start exploiting you. Even if you would “Cry like a river if he/she leaves” bury it deep inside you and say “Yeah? Chill.. Whatever..”
  4. EMBRACE LONELINESS: This is the most important thing I would say to any single child. It’s bad enough you are living such a miserable life, no use trying to fight loneliness. Start embracing it. Be happy that of all the people God has chosen you to be lonely. It means He knows you are mentally mature to embrace it. Wear it like a ‘Coat of Armor’ Be proud of who you are. Never regret what you did.
  5. LOVE YOURSELF: Finally, the most important defense mechanism of all, Loving yourself. I am never ashamed to admit, there is no person in this world who loves me as much as I do myself.

“Who is the most beautiful person in this world? You are.”

“Who is the most awesomest person in this world? You are.”

“Who is the person who has won 27 consecutive times, ‘AWESOME MAN OF THE YEAR’ award since it’s conception? You are. (Ok, things are getting a little too personal.. Let me tune out a bit 😛 )

Never let anyone, or anything pull you down, try to live independently, you are your own King you are your own Queen.

Through my 27 years of existence, I have experimented a lot, got hurt a lot, learnt a lot, and have finally become wise a lot. Irony is that after learning all this, I can’t go back and re-live my life..

I am just sharing this, not only to single children out there, but to everyone, next time you see a guy or girl, laughing a lot, trying to crack jokes, open, talkative, do not think of him/her as a ‘Court Jester’. He might be someone who is lonely and trying to cope with it in his/her own way. Support him, rather than ridicule at him.

Cheers 🙂

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noun; a genre of crime film or fiction characterized by cynicism, fatalism, and moral ambiguity.
As soon as the movie starts with an encounter in the background of ‘Malarum Malaraadha..’ from ‘Paasamalar‘ you know you have not bought ticket to any other tamil movie. As legends go, the director Karthik Subbaraj first went to a director with the script of this movie, but was discouraged by producer who wanted a paranormal thriller, (a similar scene at the opening of this movie where cinematic “Karthik” is discouraged and asked to do a gangster movie) and he went to do ‘Pizza‘ which announced his arrival in Indian Cinema but which was nowhere as good as this movie.
In both his movies so far the quality of production of movie is so high that it adds gloss to even simple locations. A film devoid of neither high budget nor foreign locales, neither of which this film doesn’t require, the cinematography is so good that it shows ordinary streets of Madurai as colorful as the streets of Paris.
Usually film about film making falters a lot, but for rare exceptions like ‘Udhayanu Tharam’ because to see the process of film making is a extremely boring process unless the script is smart enough to focus on subplots within characters than film making itself.
The first half of the film is a pseudo-sleuth cat and mouse game between the most feared goon in Madurai and a wannabe amateur director in search of his script explodes post intermission where characters keep changing their tones, where hero becomes villain, villain becomes hero, then goes onto become a psycho and then a comedian and heroine turns villain and finally at climax everybody becomes human.
The centre piece of the film is the Villain Hero Bobby Simhaa as ‘Assault Sethu’ where he lives, kicks, kills, roars, gets kicked and finally cries as the most menacing at the same time most funny villain Indian Cinema has ever seen. A rendition that very much deserves National Award if not any.. Its amazing to see the transition of this actor who started as dim-wit ‘Pagalavan’ in ‘Soodhu Kavvum’ to this ego-maniacal super-villain that makes us wonder if he himself underwent all those acting “classes” Sethu underwent in the second half of the movie.
His gang of goons acted by Ramachandran Durairaj , Soundara Raja , Sangili Murugan given unique characters equally funny and menacing with a side story of their own, showing this isn’t yet another gangster film.
Siddharth as the underdog hero, starts off as the clueless wannabe director, goes on to transform into person struggling to control the gang of goons acting in his film, and then finally in the climax as the uber-cool “Gangster Director” shows how matured as an actor he has come.
And Lakshmi Menon as “saree-stealer” heroine of the movie given considerable weight in the limited time frame she comes.
Karunakaran once again excels in his role as hero sidekick post ‘Yaamiruka Bayamey’ as Oorani especially in his monologue about “hallucinations”, his dream about being cut-throat and his reference to Thalapathy intro.
Vijay Sethupathy returns his gratitude to the director who gave him his first major break, by acting as himself, in a role as much funny as his cinematic ones.
With a tag line “A Musical Gangster Story” the director should have placed a lot of trust in his musical director and debutant Santhosh Narayanan renders a music fest as good as World classics go. Some of the best BGMs I liked in the movie were the situational BGMs where he uses nothing but the background chattering of TV, old songs running in TV or radio, odes to other music directors, which exactly sync with the situation of the movie.
But finally this film belong to the imagination of Karthik Subbaraj. Creating a very realistic world of gangsters life since ‘Pudhupettai‘ with a interwoven plot of director trying to capture it cinematically, without once being boring or stereotyped, is a brilliant mind I respect and as a Cine lover worship to _/\_
As noir films go, they are genres which are not suited for family audience because of its sleaze and gory violence but director succeeds in creating for the first time a “Family Noir” film which doesn’t make us cringe one bit.
At the last dialogue of the film the hero says “Jigarthanda” name depicts the cold hearted nature of the assassins, a corner of my brain said that literally Jigar-thanda means ‘Liver-cooler’ but for a film that is 99.999% flawless we can forgive that one factual error, can’t we?
(As Tarantino is a term loosely used nowadays to compare the level of film making, the director at many places purposefully uses anecdotes, graphical references and cinematic references to his film making. But my personal point of view this is one film which even Quentin Tarantino would be proud of)
P.S: No, this is not a copy of the Korean film ‘A Dirty Carnival’ that is not even 1% as good as this.

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