It’s been so long since I wrote something.. Writing is something I love to do, but because of my work, my life, I had not been writing as much as I liked to have. Hope to write more frequently from now on..
Sometimes the person who tries to keep everyone happy, is the loneliest person..
Being a single child always sucked. There are three different variants of being a single child.
Variant 1: Being a single child living in your home town. You have only your parents for company, no one to share stuffs with, tell your experiences. The nearest person whom you could share your experiences even if you wanted to was at least 25 years older than you and belonged to another generation.
Variant 2: Being a single child in a nuclear family, staying away from your relatives, cousins, that sucked even more. Every once a year, you get to go to your native place, where if you had luck you could meet your cousins even then, the awkwardness of the meet is so much that you rarely get to share anything, you just look at them, smile awkwardly, share niceties and feel like an alien amongst the people who are supposed to be genetically the closest to you.
Variant 3: I belong to the third variant. Being a single child in a nuclear family, who are forced to keep changing their place of residence every few years, because of transferrable job (Bank manager et al). Let me tell you, living that life, sucked donkey balls (sorry for using a colloquial variant but I’ve heard its a term used to express the worst of sucking) No real friends, as they constantly keep changing, no local friends, no favorite hang out spot, etc etc, you get the idea, right? Plus every few years you go to a new place you need to call it your home, you get a lot of stares in school, the existing students look at you like ‘the guy who has come to disrupt the fragile ecosystem of the current school’
Over a period of time you start developing many characteristics to overcome my shortcomings. I hope to list here few of my so called “adaptive mechanisms”
- ALWAYS TRY TO BE FUNNY: Its already bad enough you are lonely, sad creature. Never show that to the external world. Always try to make jokes, however awkward it might be, however stupid they might seem, in my experience being funny is the easiest way to befriend someone. They might think you are a guy with poor taste of humor but you will have the initial impression that you are a harmless creature.
- ALWAYS TRY TO CREATE AN IMPRESSION THAT YOU ARE LIVING THE MOST “EXCITING AND ADVENTUROUS LIFE”: You know deep down, your life sucks, but never let the opposite person know that. Always start telling about your life history as if you lived in the dense Amazon forests for a year surviving with nothing but grass and roots, befriended a black panther, then lived 2 years of awesome life in Antartica, where you regularly go swimming with the penguins. No one is ever going to cross verify what you say, and the few moments of jealousy the listener develops when he hears your stories is all you live for.
- NEVER SHOW YOUR DESPERATION FOR FRIENDSHIP: In all my life the one painful lesson I have learnt, the moment you start showing you are desperate for someone, they start exploiting you. Even if you would “Cry like a river if he/she leaves” bury it deep inside you and say “Yeah? Chill.. Whatever..”
- EMBRACE LONELINESS: This is the most important thing I would say to any single child. It’s bad enough you are living such a miserable life, no use trying to fight loneliness. Start embracing it. Be happy that of all the people God has chosen you to be lonely. It means He knows you are mentally mature to embrace it. Wear it like a ‘Coat of Armor’ Be proud of who you are. Never regret what you did.
- LOVE YOURSELF: Finally, the most important defense mechanism of all, Loving yourself. I am never ashamed to admit, there is no person in this world who loves me as much as I do myself.
“Who is the most beautiful person in this world? You are.”
“Who is the most awesomest person in this world? You are.”
“Who is the person who has won 27 consecutive times, ‘AWESOME MAN OF THE YEAR’ award since it’s conception? You are. (Ok, things are getting a little too personal.. Let me tune out a bit 😛 )
Never let anyone, or anything pull you down, try to live independently, you are your own King you are your own Queen.
Through my 27 years of existence, I have experimented a lot, got hurt a lot, learnt a lot, and have finally become wise a lot. Irony is that after learning all this, I can’t go back and re-live my life..
I am just sharing this, not only to single children out there, but to everyone, next time you see a guy or girl, laughing a lot, trying to crack jokes, open, talkative, do not think of him/her as a ‘Court Jester’. He might be someone who is lonely and trying to cope with it in his/her own way. Support him, rather than ridicule at him.