noirnoun; a genre of crime film or fiction characterized by cynicism, fatalism, and moral ambiguity.
Tag Archives: Tamil
As I prepare to spend my last week in Chennai, in what I hope is a temporary Good-Bye, I try to dissect as to why I love this city so damn very much!
To put it in two words “STOCKHOLM SYNDROME“
This city battered me, bruised me, tortured me with its weather, and more it did so more I fel in love with it!
But before all this, before I came to this city, there was a special relationship I had with this city since childhood.
When I came to TamilNadu, that too to a place called Sulur(a semi rural town near Coimbatore) as a “Amit” after spending the first 5 years of my life in “Bombay“, you could understand how I was. I just wanted to escape away from that place. I never knew any place in TN. All i wanted to do was go back to Bombay!
Then reality dawned there was no route of escape back, I wanted a new place to aspire for.. It was at that time my mom was teaching the geography of TamilNadu, why it was named so and she was describing Madras, Madarasapattinam, and THERE IT WAS.. Sitting smugly in the top right corner of Tamil Nadu map, on sea border like the crown jewel of this state…
Immediately I knew where I wanted to be.
After that every year I used to pester my Dad, ‘When are we going to Chennai? Why can’t we go there now itself?’ Every possible tantrum I could throw, I threw..
Then in my 3rd Std I finally got my wish albeit it was not a good one! Apparently my asthmatic and wheeze problem got aggravated so much due to my stay in Coimbatore that my parents sought appointment with the great Doctor Deivanayagam.
Though still suffering from Asthma I was so excited about my trip which was going there by morning and returning night by Train. My first exposure can be aptly named a ‘Short Blast’
The city was so full of people and that too the Doctor’s home being in T-Nagar I got to see the great Ranganathan Street, and I finally found a place much cooler(in hipster sense, not weather) than Bombay.
After my first exposure I was a Smitten Monkey.. I never stopped pestering my Dad to get transfer to Madras. Every time the news of transfers in my Dad’s bank came suddenly I was the one more concerned about my Dad’s future than he himself was!!
Then Nagercoil came and went..(In retrospect such lovely place to be, which I never quite enjoyed because of my prejudice towards Chennai)
Then Salem, my Dad’s dream place to work, with all my relatives there and as his new post as Manager, he really planned for long term there. Finally I began to think my dream of going to Madras will be an unfulfilled one, as i reluctantly began settling into my Salem life(which I won’t lie was very much enjoyable, though NEVER MADRAS :P)
And finally after 5 years, and even I slowly began forgetting my dream city, came the sweet news! Dad was transferred to Chennai! My Dad was crestfallen, my Mom even so, all my relatives were even so, but guess who could never hide his smug face and never stopped gloating? ME..
I was so happy that in a hurry to reach Madras(which became Chennai by that time) that I never could say a proper goodbye to my friends and family and neighbours back in Salem!!
A dream harbored for 7 long years! My Dad was initally promised AnnaNagar branch which made him rent a house in what I still believe is the plush-est locality in Chennai, ANNA NAGAR. I felt I was living a dream..
Roads as wide as main roads in Salem..
Trees on both sides of road(THAT IS FREAKING BOTH SIDES, CONTINUOUS!! HOW DID THEY EVEN PLAN AND PLANT THEM??!!)
Cars, a lot of Cars.. Shops which I never heard of before!(Those days a shop like “Connexions” made me go “WOW” :P)
If at all after all this ‘Shock & Awe’ settled down, the one thing I missed were the people.. City life makes us lose that empathy, and tunes us into this Rat-Race called life that often we don’t care about relationships. Its always I, Me, Myself! This was even more evident in Schools. Instant success, Instant recognition,
“You do what I ask of you I will treat you King, if you don’t I won’t even know who you are”
this was the prevailing attitude in both the schools I studied. I never knew about boarding schools outside Chennai but for a guy like me who came from semi-urban schools this was a big culture shock!
And then my parents had their own adjustments to make and settle, but then from 9th till now is definitely what I will call the GOLDEN PERIOD OF MY LIFE.
I passed out school, as a guy who was sure what his life’s ambition was…
Electronics, Communication & Engineering” @ Anna University & then somehow get into work at MICROSOFT!
Oh. Cruel. Irony. Life is…
Then came my unexpectedly good results in Biology Entrance & my Dad got smitten with the idea of making me the first Doctor in the family!
I protested, detested, ultimately supressed, oppressed and finally depressed, accepted the bargain from my Dad. If I get MBBS in Chennai colleges I will do.. or else I will do ECE at Anna University.
The first counselling everything was going so smoothly. Kilpauk Med College the last one to fill amongst in Chennai got filled 10 ranks before me!
That momentary happiness was lost when my Dad made me take Coimbatore Medical College.. Then brain-washing started beginning. The greatness of MBBS, the uncertainties of Engineering jobs, even the reduced life span of Engineers, every last dice was thrown to change my mind.
I was adamant at first then relented a little when Dad said there was a possibility in Second Counselling I might KMC, I went to Engg Counselling, took ECE, lived the life I dreamt of for a day..
Forced back into MBBS, bided my time till second counselling,
AND THE REST THEY SAY IS HISTORY…
This City taught me a lot of things, but never in an easy way.. It made me suffer first. Then made me learn from it.. Some of my most happiest memories & my most saddest memories happened in this City..
I was nobody before I came to this City and this city made me Somebody.
As days dwindle I just sleep less and less. I want every hour I am in this city count. I go to places I never went, just aimlessly travel in bike around city, go back visit my Alma Mater, everything I just want as visual memories when I leave. Something to help me when I am down in the new place..
When I left for Kerala last year the panic was not this much, because I always knew I would come back here & my dream was always to do Ortho at Royapettah. So I always thought of long and prosperous future in Chennai..
This City gave me my best friends, gave me my college, gave me an identity, helped me from being a fat shy guy with stage-fright, become a self-confident, chatterbox (although even fatter:( ) & finally became part of my life.
And now which ever part of World I go I will proudly say “Yes, I am from Chennai”
Here is to hoping this is nothing but a temporary Goodbye and hopefully I come back start a life here and continue my never ending romance with this wonderful city…
VIVA LA VIDA CHENNAI ❤
This Woman’s day her are 12 things I learnt from Indian men this past year.
1. If a woman wears skimpy, western dress she most probably wants sex. If she dresses decently also she might want sex but to a lesser extent.
2. If a women is walking alone in any street across India at night time, she probably wants sex.
3. If a Woman in Rural India is strong, self-confident and tries to talk equal to men, lets all have sex and prove to her after all she is just a WOMAN.
4. If a man wants sex, age of woman is no bar, he will have it from 3 year old to 80 year old.
5. If you are a powerful man in your region, you can have sex with any woman in that region and no one can say anything about it.
6. If a woman wants sex, she is a prostitute, if a Man wants sex, he is a MAN.
7. If a Woman rejects a love proposal from a Man, how dare she!! She should be taught a lesson, by having sex or throwing acid on her face (or both?)
8. If a woman is traveling outside with her boyfriend, once I beat up the boy friend she will want sex with me.
9. If my relatives daughter is beautiful, I will start abusing her from childhood, so that by the time she becomes mature I can marry her.
10. A man can have sex with as many women as he wants under the pretext of marriage, if a woman has sex more than one man she is “officially” subjected to 1000 whiplash and desecrated from the society.
11. I find a Woman already raped and battling for life, what shall I do? Take her to hospital or Rape her again? Tough decision.
12. If a woman goes to police station to make a complain of sexual harrasment, let’s all beat her up without investigating as she might be probably lying.
As repulsive, disgusting, humiliating to write about this, but this is the prevailing truth. Most of us learnt ppl, in Twitter and Facebook think this is related to some minorities somewhere in India, but these are things I keep reading in newspaper day in, day out.
If you think what I have written is dramatizing out of context, and only represented few people, why does Women Survey show 52% of Women in India are subjected to sexual harassment of some sort?
Does that mean the few ppl travel everywhere around India and do this?
It means only one thing, men with these attitude are the majority. Only we sane thinking, social network loving people are the minority.
What is the solution?? I am as Dumb Founded as you are…
From time immemorial Raja was the ugly duckling in every class he had been. He was short, stubby and very dark complexioned, and was always the source of ridicule amongst his friends in school, so much so that his nickname was “AsingaRaja”.
It was not his fault he came from a low class family, with Dad a bus driver & Mom a Flower shop vendor. It was not his fault that both were dark complexioned, but none of his friends seemed to understand that.
He tried hard to shed that name by trying everything he can, from excess make-up, to spending excessive time in front of mirror trying different styles. His favorite actor was Dhanush who made him feel people like him can look good with some good makeup.
With the constant ridiculing he passed through 12 years of his school life, and not blessed with much academic prowess he got into a Polytechnic college outskirts of the city.
He usually went in that bus daily, when he first spotted her. She was fair, tall, lean, everything he couldn’t be and instantly he fell in “Love” with her. He saw she wore a school dress of a school near his Polytechnic. As he was in dream-land, she got off and went away before he could tail her.
Next week or so he couldn’t see her, he purposely tried different bus timings to catch her somewhere, but it was not possible. As he was beginning to give up hope, he saw her again, this time not wanting to repeat the previous mistake, he got down immediately behind her, his friends screamed at him, that this was not their stop, he ignored them and followed her. He didn’t care if he went late to his college, because of this sojourn, he didn’t care if it rained, or even a volcano erupted next to him. All he wanted was to see her.
Next few weeks, he located the bus stopping she hailed from, and by the help of conductor uncle, who was his Dad’s close friend, he got her name from her Bus pass. DIVYA. ‘Soon to be Divya Raja’, he dreamt.
Next day he officially “introduced his girl friend” to his friends. They all congratulated him on his “achievement” His friends asked when he was gonna propose to her, His friend gave idea to write a romantic love letter.
“Machi, ella ponnungalum azhagana love letter a padicha udanae mayangiduvaanga. Nee mattum nalla letter onnu ezhudina mathadhu ellam ok dhan”
He went home wrote a letter based on the lyrics of all the romantic songs he had heard. He wrote & wrote like he had never wrote in any of the exams in his life so far. Finally after writing for 13 double sheets, he finished his “master-piece” read and re-read it proudly. He folded it and covered it with a pink cover he got from shop, and plastered a Red rose, he stole from his Mom’s shop, and thus he was all set for the eventful day tomorrow.
Next day he woke up early, bathed and dressed in his cleanest Polytechnic dress, spent double the time than he usually does in front of Mirror, checking and rechecking whether he looked the best.
He went to her stop, boarded the bus behind her, entire journey he was mentally rehearsing the various ways to propose her. He got off behind her, then finally mustered all the courage he can and confronted her.
That day was uneventful for her, she was on her way to write her Mid-Term Maths exam, when suddenly a guy confronted her, He was a Polytechnic student she gathered from the dress he wore, and to be frank she thought ‘He is hideous looking’. He was obviously very nervous, and tried to blurt out some movie song, she knew where this was going and was dreading it. In the end of a very poorly rehearsed monologue, he said ‘I love you’ and gave a Pink colored letter with a Red Rose.
Tears started pouring out of her eyes, as she didn’t know what to do, she cried and ran away from that place. Evening she went home and blurted everything to her parents. Her Dad, a Police Constable, was extremely angry on hearing it.
Next day he accompanied her to the stop, and there he was, the guy who proposed her. She pointed finger at him. Her Dad reassured her to go to school and he will take care of everything, grabbed the guy by the scruff of his neck and dragged him away from the bus stop to his station.
He was a extremely pious and short tempered man, who wore his caste even more prouder than his Police Badge. When he heard the incident from his daughter he wanted to thrash the guy into pieces. The next day when he got hold of the guy he took him to the station, and with the help of other constables, beat the guy black and blue.
He abused Raja extremely, to the point he began comparing both their appearances,
“Yaen da, karuppa panni madhiri irukura unaku, sevapa azhaga irukura en ponnu kekudho, endha dhairiyathu la da en ponnu kitta vandhu love letter kodutha? Un moonji ya nee kannadi la parthirukiya? Ungappan yaaru panniya, panniya irundha kooda innum konjam nalla paiyana pethirupaan”
After some heavy thrashing, abusing and a little advising, he finally asked his parents to come and collect them from the Station and warned them too of severe consequences if it ever happened again.
After they left, he felt a little bad if he over did the punishment, but he reassured himself ‘I did what every responsible Dad would have done’
That day he could never forget, more than the physical abuse, it was the mental abuse that really hurt him. It took him 2 weeks to return to normalcy, and further 2 weeks for the physical wounds to heal and for him to go to college. Surprisingly his parents didn’t say a word about it after that, presumably out of sympathy and humiliation, he thought.
Inside him there was a burning desire to take revenge. But he was after all a Polytechnic student and her Dad was a police constable, there was no way he could take revenge on him. That’s when his friend suggested,
“Machi ava azhaga irukaradhala dhane ella prechanaiyum, pesaama ava moonji la acid oothidu. Ella prechanai um mudinjidum. Aparam ava moonji kevalama aagidum, vera yaarum avala kalyaanam pannika maatan, Unna paarthu kaari thuppina avan appan naaliku un kaal la yae vandhu vizhundhu ponna katti ka solli keppan”
He liked the idea very much, plus it was very cost effective too he thought. His friend assured him he could get a concentrated acid for about 100 rupees, “Adhulam periya matter illa machi, naan arrange panni tharaen’, he reassured.
Then he feared, what if he gets caught by Police, his friends suggested, after its done, they all go to their respective native places, stay there for 2 weeks, and then return. They decided to wear a black mask and do it on the way from where she got down from the bus to school, as that place was deserted most of the time.
His friend had got the acid as he assured, and first they tested a bit of the acid by pouring it on a plant. He saw as he poured, the plant wilt in front of his eyes, with a pungent odour emanating. He felt a weird sense of pleasure. Tomorrow the same is gonna happen on her face and at the end of it we both will be the same, he thought and grinned foolishly.
Next day, his friend brought his bike, they waited by her bus stop for her to board the bus, and followed it. Just before her stop, they overtook the bus, put on their masks and waited by the alley near the bus stop.
As soon as she left the bus, they ran towards her.
As she was going to the school, she saw couple of masked men running towards her with a bottle in their hand. Before she could comprehend what was happening, one of them opened the bottle and poured it on her face. At first her whole face became numb, there was a bright flash of light, then everything became dark, then the unbearable burning sensation began, she tried to rub it off, but her hands started to burn too, and finally she let out a endless shriek of agony that pierced the early morning silence.
As he poured a little bit spilled on his hands, he could think of that, as he quickly ran back and started the bike, as he heard her scream behind, He quickly looked around and saw nobody had noticed it yet, and sped away in his bike.
As he sped away, he started to feel the unbearable burning sensation in his hands, he thought by the end of all this he will feel relieved, pleasurable and the sense of triumph. But he felt none of it. He started feeling guilty, a drop of the acid in his hands caused that much pain, he was frightened to imagine what the girl must be undergoing. He then thought, ‘That b**ch deserved it for her Dad’s actions’.
As he neared his home the pain was unbearable, he asked his friend if he could borrow his bike to the nearby hospital to treat and then they all could escape the town.
After getting the bike, he started speeding towards the hospital which was beyond the railway crossing near his home. As he was driving he was thinking of the only acid he remembered, H2SO4. His Chemistry teachers voice, still echoing in his ears,
“Dei Raja, Sulphiric Acid a vechi velayaadatha da. Adhu romba diluted form la udambula pattalae thol vendhudum”
The guilt began to increase, tears started rolling down his eyes, as he realised the magnitude of the action he had done.
As he saw the Railway crossing was free, although it was barricaded, a possible train was coming he thought, but there was always a sideway which motorists used to cross even after it was barricaded, as he saw both sides he saw the approaching train was very far away and the pain in his hand was unbearable, he had to go to the hospital quickly. So he calculated mentally, he could easily pass the crossing before the train approached. He sped the bike and as he manoeuvred through the narrow barricade, he realised the train was too close than he calculated….
There was a loud noise, as the tea kadai owner, near the level crossing, saw a bike and a man thrown 20 feets up in the air and fall around 100 feets away from the crossing.
“Ivan usuroda iruka vaipae illa”,
1. I wrote this short story affected by the recent increase in frequency of Acid attacks. Its highly disturbing to see people resort to such regressive attempts. I tried to understand the mindset behind committing such regressive actions, how criminals get abused mentally, physically & socially before they attempt this. That being said, not all criminals go through this, there are few psychopaths who do this with least provocation, just to see others in pain. Such beasts of humanity should never be allowed to lead a public life in my opinion.
2. Such poetic justice, occurs only in short stories, as in real life, such criminals are let off free in more than 90 percent of the cases. A disturbing statistics i read yesterday was that “Of all the crimes that occur in India, more than 30 percent are by Jail Convicts, escapees and criminals released earlier than their sentenced time. Thats 30 percent more lives we can save, by implementing the law strictly. As long as the law doesn’t become strict enough to punish such miscreants, such kinda incidents keep happening.